Aussie trip
When people found out I was coming to Australia for 3 months, they said what are you going to do about your health?! My answer was always the same, "I will deal with it when I get home". I think I knew at the time that was a very naive thing to say, but a girl can dream and hope for the best, right?! Of course I knew how these things go really. You can never tell when your next flare up is going to be, and you definitely can't control it. I just didn't want to think about how it could impact my trip. It was a big enough thing for me to do without considering my health side of things too. Plus I'm always so adamant that it doesn't control my life so I wasn't willing to let it be part of my plans for my huge exciting adventure.
I've been in Melbourne two and a half weeks now and unfortunately, my body hasn't given me that dream, not even a little bit of it! In actual fact my pain levels have been the worst that they have been in the while. I guess an element of that is down to the change and the stress that has come with moving to the other side of the world on my own, and starting a new job at a new company. But my goodness, give me a break!!! I just want to enjoy this time, can't it even give me that?!
I've been feeling pretty crap since I got here. Cramps have been constant, bloating has been uncomfortable, the indigestion is unbearable and the last couple of days the headaches have come in with a bang. For those who have read my blogs before, you know that luckily I don't generally have monthly cycles anymore due to my coil. Well, that was until the weekend just gone. Yep nice little surprise there to add into the mix. Lets just say I'm glad I went through Customs to get my codeine into the country!! I've had a couple of visits to the pharmacy too, just to try and get some relief from my symptoms but for those who suffer too, we all know theres not much that helps. But I just need to feel like I'm trying something for my own sanity!
I had to do a presentation at work today, including to our Sydney, Perth and Brisbane offices. So when I woke up this morning with still no improvement I just wanted to crawl back under the duvet and hide. I was dreading it as it was, without feeling like utter death. I've been my usual stubborn self and cracked on with work and mostly doing what I want at the weekends. I think I've accepted that one of my weekend days is for exploring and the other is for resting. Plus the majority of my evenings are for sofa surfing. It would be nice to be out enjoying the Australia life all the time but I've got to listen to my 70 year old body so I can still do some things. I refuse to take any time off sick whilst I'm here, and I don't want to go shouting about my condition either. It was meant to be a break from it after all (yep naive again!). It hasn't helped either that one of my colleagues went off on paternity leave today and by tomorrow lunch time he will have a new little baby. I just found myself sitting there after saying goodbye and good luck, thinking I'll never get to experience what him and his wife will be tomorrow. I think that was the green eyed monster coming out and now I'm just feeling sorry for myself on top of feeling crappy too! I'm not sure why I thought those feelings would change over here, I'm still only human!
Its difficult having to compromise with yourself. And its hard facing up to the fact that actually wherever I go, it will always be with me. I'm still working on that whole being kind to myself thing too, its more like getting frustrated with myself right now but I'll get there...
A x
I've been in Melbourne two and a half weeks now and unfortunately, my body hasn't given me that dream, not even a little bit of it! In actual fact my pain levels have been the worst that they have been in the while. I guess an element of that is down to the change and the stress that has come with moving to the other side of the world on my own, and starting a new job at a new company. But my goodness, give me a break!!! I just want to enjoy this time, can't it even give me that?!
I've been feeling pretty crap since I got here. Cramps have been constant, bloating has been uncomfortable, the indigestion is unbearable and the last couple of days the headaches have come in with a bang. For those who have read my blogs before, you know that luckily I don't generally have monthly cycles anymore due to my coil. Well, that was until the weekend just gone. Yep nice little surprise there to add into the mix. Lets just say I'm glad I went through Customs to get my codeine into the country!! I've had a couple of visits to the pharmacy too, just to try and get some relief from my symptoms but for those who suffer too, we all know theres not much that helps. But I just need to feel like I'm trying something for my own sanity!
I had to do a presentation at work today, including to our Sydney, Perth and Brisbane offices. So when I woke up this morning with still no improvement I just wanted to crawl back under the duvet and hide. I was dreading it as it was, without feeling like utter death. I've been my usual stubborn self and cracked on with work and mostly doing what I want at the weekends. I think I've accepted that one of my weekend days is for exploring and the other is for resting. Plus the majority of my evenings are for sofa surfing. It would be nice to be out enjoying the Australia life all the time but I've got to listen to my 70 year old body so I can still do some things. I refuse to take any time off sick whilst I'm here, and I don't want to go shouting about my condition either. It was meant to be a break from it after all (yep naive again!). It hasn't helped either that one of my colleagues went off on paternity leave today and by tomorrow lunch time he will have a new little baby. I just found myself sitting there after saying goodbye and good luck, thinking I'll never get to experience what him and his wife will be tomorrow. I think that was the green eyed monster coming out and now I'm just feeling sorry for myself on top of feeling crappy too! I'm not sure why I thought those feelings would change over here, I'm still only human!
Its difficult having to compromise with yourself. And its hard facing up to the fact that actually wherever I go, it will always be with me. I'm still working on that whole being kind to myself thing too, its more like getting frustrated with myself right now but I'll get there...
A x
Keep the positive thoughts flowing! Dont be too hard on yourself. You are strong but dont be affraid to let yourself bend and adapt when things get tough.
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