Finding the courage to say…"I'm struggling"
As many of you know, this year I embarked on a new challenge and moved from Essex in the UK to sunny Sydney, Australia. It was a huge thing for me to do being so close to my family and friends back home, but I knew it was something I wanted to do for myself. However, I didn't count on there being a global pandemic whilst I did it! A few weeks ago I was given the opportunity to have an article published at work about my experience of moving to the other side of the world during COVID. It turned into a featured piece titled 'Finding the courage to say... "I'm struggling".
I was a little wary of the article being published to the entire firm but it was open and honest. Two things I always want to be. And hey, what was the worst that was going to happen?! Turns out, I had no need to worry and I have received wonderful feedback. The article has had over 1000 views, many likes and several comments. I've had emails and phone calls from people I had never even heard of, let alone spoken to. Not only do I feel better for sharing, others have shared with me too.
There are many of us struggling at this time, not just through existing illness but more than ever with the uncertainty of the world right now. Endometriosis and Adenomyosis has given me one thing, and that is the ability to speak up and say when I'm struggling. I wanted to share the article below, and encourage you to also talk to those around you. More often than not, they are struggling as well. Lean on each other. That's why we have family and friends. To share the good and the bad times. We're not alone.
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Finding the courage to say…"I'm struggling"
Hook, Amy
Business Analyst
In 2018 I spent
three months in the Melbourne and Sydney offices on secondment from my previous
company. I was gutted when I left to go back to the UK and knew I wanted to
return to Australia. Two years later, I am back in Sydney but it's not been the
return I thought it would be…
I landed in Sydney on 10 March, ready
to start work on 16 March. From the very start, things weren't what I had
expected. I was feeling pretty nervous leaving the UK. I was leaving my friends
and family and a life I knew and loved. On top of that there was a lot of
uncertainty about COVID-19, the risk of flying and when I'd be able to come
back to the UK knowing my sister was expecting her first baby.
Once in Sydney, I
got the sniffles. Any other year that wouldn't have been a big thing but in the
context of COVID-19 it meant I was staying put in my temporary accommodation
and couldn't go into the office. So my first day started with a courier delivering
my phone and laptop and having the IT Service Desk team talk me through how to
log on. By far the strangest start to a new job! And any hopes I had of going
into the office were soon dashed as two days later, everyone started working
from home.
I had returned to Sydney for all the
right reasons – amazing people, a company I really enjoyed working at, a new
and challenging role and the opportunity to experience more of Australia. But I
was very quickly finding myself in a place where I was constantly questioning
why I'd come back. I was on my own, in lockdown, in an exciting city I couldn't
explore, and with my closest friends and family half way around the world in a
totally different time zone. What had I done?
I was struggling,
and like many, I still am. But two really important things are helping me get
through. The people in my life and being brave enough to
recognise and say when I'm struggling.
I've not always
been able to share when I'm struggling - it's been a journey. About seven years
ago I received the news that I had endometriosis and adenomyosis - neither of
which can be cured, only managed. They continue to cause me lots of pain and
have had serious implications for my life to date and in the future. The silver
lining from this experience was I started writing a blog and sharing more
openly how I was going.
Through this experience, I've learnt
how important it is to share what's going on for me and to ask for help.
More often than not, the help I've needed is just to have someone listen - it's
not about having the answer or trying to fix something. That wasn't easy to
start with. I was a doubter on the difference talking can make but the more I
do it, the easier it gets and the more I get from it. I've also started to find
that the more I share, the more others share too.
So in the
times I've felt overwhelmed and like I've made the wrong decision coming to
Australia, I've talked – to friends, family and colleagues. 'Talking' has taken
many different forms: video calls, phone calls, text messages and letters to my
Grandma. They all have their place and have helped me to feel less alone and to
see that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Through all of
this, I have a whole new appreciation of the people in my life. Not only have
they been there to talk to but they have supported me in ways I couldn't
previously have imagined. From the delivery of a box of chocolate brownies, to
a 30th birthday in iso that involved a Sunday video call with
my work team and the delivery of a very Australian Freddo ice-cream cake (best
described as sugar, food colouring and more sugar). These small acts of
kindness – a text message, a letter or a surprise delivery – make all the
difference.
So as we face
uncertain times ahead and find ourselves having good days and bad days, there's
always time to talk and to connect with each other. COVID-19 has
thrown us into each others' homes and broken down lots of barriers to help us
really get to know each other – let's make the most of that.
I hope this article helps you find
some comfort and enables you to also talk with those in your life about how you
are going, to share when you are struggling and to ask for help when you need
it. From my experience, the first few times are the hardest but I am constantly
surprised by the difference it continues to make. You might be surprised too.
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A x
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