World Mental Health Day

I'll be the first to admit that I've always been a bit cynical about mental health. All of a sudden everyone had a mental health issue. And sometimes its just felt like an excuse. But I have watched others around me, close friends, go through really tough times. I've ridden the highs and the lows with them too. One minute everything is fine and the next you're trying to calm down the frantic crying person in front you, trying to make them realise that life is worth living. But fortunately I'd never experienced what they were going through for myself. I'd never questioned my life or the future I had mapped out for myself. But I have felt low. Like really really low and I've certainly been to a very dark place all thanks to my Endo and Adeno...

Some days you feel like you're on top of the world. Those days usually come with limited pain. And when those days seem to come so few and far between, it really is an amazing feeling. The days where you don't wake up with the heavy cramps willing you to stay in bed. The days where you don't wake up feeling sick or anxious. The days where you have had a full nights sleep with no interruptions and actually feel refreshed for once! The days where you don't have to keep telling yourself that you can and will get through the day. They are the best days.

But then some days you feel like you are in the lowest and darkest parts of your head. The days where the pain is so intense you can't move from bed. The days where you have to cancel those plans you really wanted to do. The days where everyone around you is announcing pregnancies and popping out babies. And then of course there are days where you panic for no reason. It catches you unaware and before you know it you're shaking, feeling sick and feeling like you need to run for the closest door. Those are the hard days.

I've never pretended to fully understand what its like to be depressed or suffer from other mental health issues. But I can say I've felt some of my lowest days in the last year since my illness has got worse. The days where I can't help but cry with self pity. The days where I feel nasty with jealousy over those around me having what I want. The days where the anger takes over and I take my frustrations out on those around me. Its not pretty and quite frankly it doesn't make me a nice person. I've always been a believer in being kind to those around you as you never know what battles they are fighting. If anything my situation has only made that belief stronger.

With social media you hear of girls taking their own lives due to this illness because they can't see light at the end of the tunnel. I hope to never ever experience that feeling, but for those people who are struggling, take comfort in knowing you're not alone. And you will come out the other side of this dark place. For those in Colchester and in the surrounding areas, we hold an Endometriosis UK support group once a month. Its a great place to meet others in the same situation and talk things through. We are all in this together so come along and join our lovely group! Further details can be found on the Endometriosis UK website here, including support groups in other areas.

Happy World Mental Health Day and remember, be kind. Always.

A x


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