'Its Not The Endo The World...'

Firstly I want to start by thanking everyone for continuing to follow my blog. This is my 100th post which is insane! I started this not knowing if anyone would ever read it and now so many of you send me lovely supportive messages which are an amazing lift when I need it. So thank you thank you thank you! Its been a busy week. I've been away training on my Global Talent Programme in Cambridge with my fellow cohort members. Its been tough but I've really enjoyed myself. Not only that but it came at just the right time to provide me with the perfect distraction with the impending operation next week. Naturally my body didn't quite let me forget and I've felt pretty rough especially yesterday when I was feeling horribly sick. Its been the first time in a while that my tummy has been so bloated that I've been unable to do my trousers up and the pain was pretty intense with it too. As always, with the feeling unwell, along came the frustration with it. This diseas...

Its all becoming a bit real now. Its when you start discussing the consent form whereby stats such as 1 in 10 women will wake up with a temporary colostomy bag after surgery, that things really start to hit home. Its when you've been waiting for this operation for a year and then all of a sudden its less than 2 weeks away and you're sitting in your pre op appointment getting your dietary information and bowel prep, that you start to panic about whats to come over the next few months. Its when its consuming every free minute of your waking day making your mind go over and over the potential risks, that you start wishing it was still a year away and not 2 weeks to go. Yep its definitely becoming all very real now. On Tuesday I had my pre op admission appointment at the hospital. It started off with a chat with my consultant confirming what we were going to be doing as part of the surgery. I was advised I may wake up with a drain coming out of my side in case there is an excessi...

When you're in pain on a daily basis, and the level of pain has increased over the last year, you know its got worse. Thats obvious surely?! But strangely, even though I know that makes sense and appears to be obvious, its the confirmation of someone telling you that its exactly the case that I struggle with. I've had it before with previous appointments and I've had it again today. I guess its the information finally sinking in. Its the idea that you could be imagining it disappearing and the realisation that how you've been feeling is actually fact. So when I had my MRI scan results through today that realisation hit again. I had my scan a few weeks back, remember, the one where I hit the panic button and got pulled out of the machine! Haha. Well I got a snippet of my report through via email today. It was a lot of medical jargon that I have no idea about but it was the small summary at the end that basically summed it up. A 5cm cyst, a new 2.5cm possible fibroid an...