'Its Not The Endo The World...'

Yesterday I opened my NHS branded letter and a wave of emotion hit me. Its happening, my consultant has finally agreed, I am officially on the list for a hysterectomy. Last month I finished my course of Zoladex injections. 6 months had gone by so quickly. I wasn't particularly sad about it, after all the monthly stabbing wasn't my most favourite appointment to attend, but of course the familiar dread of periods returning and the unknown of the pain levels and how quickly it would hit me was a massive concern. And boy did it hit me fast. I was back to bleeding within a couple of days and my pain levels had started to sky rocket. Previously the injections haven't made too much of a difference but this time round felt different. The daily pain turned into more cyclical pain, reducing the constant ache which clearly made it much more manageable. This was good news, not only for the last few months but also for the stats as to whether a hysterectomy would be effective in the fut...

I have no idea where the past year has gone. It only feels like yesterday that we were leaving 2016 behind us and looking forward to what 2017 was going to hold. As I look back, theres been a lot of good that has come my way, but I also recognise that its been a pretty tough year too. My health has taken up a huge part of my year, and not in a good way. I spent the majority of the year waiting for my operation, but as I was doing so my health deteriorated quite considerably. I've had multiple days out of the office, and missed out on family/friend engagements more than ever before. I've had many trips to the doctors or hospital, whether thats through unexpected pain or planned appointments. Finally, and perhaps the biggest bump in the road, was the confirmation that my consultant can now justify the hysterectomy that no one wants to think about, but that is inevitable in the next couple of years.  Its been a rollercoaster ride, one that has tested my positivity and at ti...

Its been a busy few weeks for me and my body so I thought I would update you all on whats been happening in my world. A couple of weeks ago, I had my third MRI scan. I usually have them on a yearly basis to see how my Endo and Adenomyosis is progressing. My consultant likes to call them my MOT! For all of you who have had an MRI, you'll appreciate how tiny that damn machine is, so its never something I look forward to. I don't know whether I was feeling particularly anxious that day, but for the first time I had to press the buzzer to get out of the machine. Ugh embarrassing much! I couldn't calm my breathing and I felt sick with panic, I just had to get out of there. Its unusual for me and as always, my stubborn mind told me to get straight back in there and to finish the scan after a few minutes of fresh air. It was a long 60 minutes but I got there in the end! I know that I'll have many more scans, and no doubt I'll also have to press the buzzer again in the fu...

Well, todays the day. The day of my second Prostap injection. I'm nervous but excited too. Nervous that it might make my symptoms worse again. But excited that it might actually make me feel better. I've taken tomorrow off work just in case I don't feel well, but I'm hopeful that I can actually go out and enjoy my day instead. I need this to work. Because I'm not sure I can do another 4 weeks like the last. So please keep your fingers and toes crossed for me. I will update you all tomorrow. A x

I've just come across this post on Facebook and wanted to share. This is a great read and one that I'm sure many of us can relate to. Especially when deciding whether to go public with your disease. https://themighty.com/2017/01/facebook-posts-chronically-sick/ A x

I'm lacking my inspiration and motivation today. I didn't sleep well last night and so I'm tired. But on this freezing cold Monday morning, I saw that my blog had gone even more Global. Thanks to Endometriosis Awareness on Facebook, my blog was seen by so many more of you Endo Warriors and their families. So firstly, hi! And thank you for taking the time to come and read my story. I thought I'd give an update on how I'm feeling since my injection. Its a week tomorrow until I get my next Prostap injection which means I'm 3 weeks into the cycle. The pain has eased since the first couple of weeks but I'm still struggling more than I was before the injection. Though according to the nurse that is to be expected. I'm a little anxious about the next one. On top of the horrendous pain, the first bought on a water infection which caused more pain and discomfort. But hopefully that won't happen again. My moods aren't too bad, although I am a little less...

One thing I was worried about with going public with my disease was peoples perception of me changing. As mentioned previously, I don't want to appear weak or incapable of doing things. I don't want people to think I am using my disease as an excuse for not meeting up, or pulling out of a gym session, or not getting into work for the day. Every day I am determined not to let this disease shape my life. I am determined to get up, get dressed and go to work on a daily basis. I am determined to get up at 6am and go to the gym and work out because I enjoy it. I am determined to see the people I love, and live each day to the best that I can. Sure, there are days that the endo and ade do get the better of me. There are days when I have to text my manager saying I can't make it into the office today. There have even been days that I've been sent home because they can see I'm in pain. Yes, I don't get to the gym as much as I used to and my nutrition isn't as st...

One of the symptoms I have struggled to adjust to the most is the dizziness. That moment when you're in the middle of something and all of a sudden you feel light headed or faint. That moment where you panic that you are about to make a fool of yourself in front of your work colleagues, or the strangers in the shop. No doubt its something you have all experienced at some point in your journey. I started to research what I could do to help with the sudden dizziness that I was experiencing. I was willing to try anything to take away the anxiety that I felt when going out, worrying that at any point I would need to stop and take a seat. Well ladies, the answer is vitamins. After scaling the internet, I found several other Endo Warriors saying they had tried various vitamins, not only to help with dizziness but also the other symptoms endo/ade put upon us. I now take Bioglan Womens Multi-Vitamins on a daily basis. In fact I take two a day. One in the morning and one at night. Wha...

Happy Friday Endo Warriors! I've touched on how fortunate I am to have the wonderful family and friends that I do in my previous posts, but I thought it deserved its own post. Through all the medication and procedures that I have tried, nothing is more effective than having those around you that care. Let me start by saying that this disease sucks. Like really sucks. And I can handle what it throws at me. The pain. The heart break. The realisation that I'll never carry my own child. But what I struggle with is the strain it puts on all my friends and family. Sometimes I bore myself, repeating daily how I don't feel 100%, feeling like I might as well just have a sign on my forehead stating the fact. All those times that I pull out of meals, or those pre-made plans because I just don't feel up to it. Feeling like a huge disappointment to those around me. I find myself apologising more and more for missed days out or spontaneous trips. Whilst all the time, it...

Messing around with hormones, its a dangerous game. Especially when you're putting a mid twenty year old into the menopause! In 2015, my Gynae said he wanted to try me on Decapeptyl injections to ease my pain. For those who know, these injections make your body think its in the menopause. At the time it was a daunting prospect. I was 25 after all. I'd heard the horror stories about the hot flushes and the night sweats. I didn't know how my body was going to react. Well, I think I lasted 2 injections. It was more to do with the fact my Uterine Embolisation procedure date came through which meant I had to come off the Decapeptyl, but thank god it did. I got the nickname "Hulk". I lost any level of patience. I snapped at the slightest thing. To put it bluntly, I was a horrible person. That said, the pain did ease! Its times like those, that I reflect and think what a strain this disease not only puts on me, but my family and friends too. My best friend got th...

As promised, I thought I would share my experiences with procedures I have tried for my endo and ade. So first up, Uterine Embolisation... In October 2015, I under went a procedure which was primarily for my adenomyosis symptoms. The procedure involved an operation and an overnight stay in hospital but the hope that it would ease some of the agonising symptoms made it worth it.  I already knew the ade was pretty bad for me. When I was diagnosed, the consultant told me that they nearly perforated my womb wall as it was so spongy rather than a strong muscle. Since then I've also been told its one of the most prominent cases of ade that he has seen. The op was done under local anaesthetic and so I was awake the whole time. It involved the surgeons going in through an artery in my groin and pumping in some beads to block off some of the blood vessels in my womb. It was described to me as glue. "We're gluing the vessels". The idea was that this would stop the a...