'Its Not The Endo The World...'

And he said, "you have endometriosis so you must know everything about it because people always do, so you know it can't be treated, so what do you want?". After a couple of days of building pain, I woke at 00.45 on Sunday morning with even worse pain and spent the next few hours trying to stop myself from being sick. I've been living with endometriosis for many years now and so I know I can define "normal" pain, and I knew this wasn't it. What was happening? Was it another cyst rupturing? Was it something entirely different? Was it my appendix? So many questions and in the middle of the night definitely no answers. It was going to be a long night. At 07.45 I rang 111 (the NHS non emergency line) and spoke to someone regarding my symptoms. She put me down as needing an immediate call back from a clinician and so I waited. It wasn't too long before I got the second call and discussed the situation. It was highlighted that due to the ongoing COVID situ...

It was a day I had dreaded since I was diagnosed 6 years ago. It was a day that I had tried to prepare myself for so many times before. It was a day that was going to test not only my own emotions but my relationship with one of the most important people in my life too. But that day was never going to be easy, and my goodness, it really wasn't easy. I sat on my sisters sofa and I knew instantly what she was going to say. How did I know, I was making a huge assumption after all, but I just knew what was coming. That instant pain and jealousy stirred in my tummy, that instant need to cry came over me and before she could even say it, I said "you're pregnant aren't you". For those of you that know me, you know that I'm really close to my big sis. Shes two years older than me, and we've always had a very close bond. We've lived together, worked together, and done all the normal things that sisters do with each other. Its always been a case of if you me...

I’ve been tossing up for a while now whether to write another blog post. It’s been a couple of months since my last update and I’ve neglected my blog since. The truth of it is I’ve used the last three months in Australia to run away from the reality of my situation. I’ve been able to (for the most part) shut off my thinking about the appointments, procedures and operations that are to come in the next couple of years. And it’s been bliss. Yes I’ve had my bad days. And yes at times it’s been a struggle. But I've also been able to just be me, without the endometriosis, without the adenomyosis, and without the heartache that it all brings with it. Having a break from the frequent hospital appointments, the feelings of jealousy and resentment, and the enormity of whats to come was needed. I’ve felt a bit like the old Amy, the Amy who had a life outside of endometriosis, the Amy before everything changed. It’s funny how when you go somewhere different you can change your mindset. It wa...

When people found out I was coming to Australia for 3 months, they said what are you going to do about your health?! My answer was always the same, "I will deal with it when I get home". I think I knew at the time that was a very naive thing to say, but a girl can dream and hope for the best, right?! Of course I knew how these things go really. You can never tell when your next flare up is going to be, and you definitely can't control it. I just didn't want to think about how it could impact my trip. It was a big enough thing for me to do without considering my health side of things too. Plus I'm always so adamant that it doesn't control my life so I wasn't willing to let it be part of my plans for my huge exciting adventure. I've been in Melbourne two and a half weeks now and unfortunately, my body hasn't given me that dream, not even a little bit of it! In actual fact my pain levels have been the worst that they have been in the while. I guess ...

Its been over a month since my last post. Why? Well, in all honesty, I was struggling with writing about Endo when it was consuming so much of my time and thoughts already. Trying to put it down on paper (or on a computer in this case!) was very hard and I have always said I would only continue with my blog when it was working for me. It was meant to help, not hinder me. There was so much hope and optimism that my surgery would make a difference to my pain, and so when it didn't, it was a massive disappointment. Not just for me but those around me too. Things have been tricky, and as I wrote in my previous posts, the reality of the big op happening is very slowly sinking in. However, as it sinks it, it means I can also start to process it and get my head around the emotions that come with it. That comes with time and the break has been good for me. For a while it felt like everything was very negative but we're on the up. So here I am, I'm back and typing away... So whats...

Wow. Has it really been a week already since my operation?! OK so yes I am feeling it but I honestly don't know where that time has gone. But I promised I would give you all an update on what has happened etc so let me start from the beginning... Bowel prep. Yes thats where I am going to start. And yes it really was as horrendous as I was expecting. Naturally seeing as it wasn't a pleasant experience, they make you go through the process twice. So Wednesday night, I hid myself away and again on Thursday morning at 5am I did the same. Theres not much more to say on the subject apart from I don't want to see another enema for a very VERY long time. I got to the hospital at 7am on the Thursday morning. Nervous and anxious for what the day was to hold, my parents and sister accompanied me to my place on the ward. I eventually had a nurse come and see me to start the process of getting ready, and before I knew it I was in my gown, with my stockings on, waving goodbye to my f...

My Grandparents wrote me a little poem so I thought I would share it with you all... OUR AMY It’s Endometriosis, Endo for short Something your born with, It cannot be caught Affecting just women, With no signs to show The men are so lucky, They just don’t know how The women who has it, They say one in ten There’s not much to help them, The condition to stem Endo is bad But there is Adeo as well If you have them both It does make life Hell Our Grand-daughter has them both And we know she’s in pain Just what is Life there for, It happens again and again We Love her so much And stand by her side She’s a Lovely Young Lady, And her Grandparents Pride SHE’S AMY Forever grateful for my family and friends who continue to support me through this horrid disease. A x

We all know the frustrations we feel when an endo flare up hits. And it's always when we least expect or want it to happen! I've struggled with the frustration element massively but I've learnt along the way the importance of accepting it and trying not to feel guilty for the disease. The below article is a great read on 5 tips for self care during a flare up. Have a read and see what you think. https://themighty.com/2017/08/endometriosis-flare-how-to-practice-self-care/ What are your self care tips? A x

Yesterday bought the fourth of our North Essex Endometriosis UK support meetings and a chance to meet up with the ladies I now am lucky enough to consider my friends. As always we covered some interesting topics but one in particular really made me think about my situation. Infertility and acceptance. As you know many women with Endometriosis suffer with infertility, and for those of us with Adenomyosis we often face the prospect of a hysterectomy at some point in our lives. For many, that is a bitter and hard pill to swallow, regardless of your age. But as one of those women who were diagnosed and given this news at an early age, I have felt like a ticking time bomb ever since. The question was asked in the group yesterday whether having the diagnosis at an earlier age would have been preferable from a fertility point of view compared to someone who was diagnosed with Endo at a later age... When I was given the news at the age of 23, I was insta...

I wanted to write a quick blog to thank all those people who have supported me and continue to do so through my good and bad days. I've struggled over the last couple of weeks with not only pain, but with feeling pretty low with it too. Everyone tells you to keep positive but when you're stuck in that rut, you don't know how. I've always said friends and family are what get me through my worst days and I still 100% stand by that. Without you all, I don't know what I would do. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you. A x

It doesn't seem that long ago that I was writing about hitting 10,000 views on my blog. But today I doubled that and am now at over 20,000 views! Wow! I'm humbled by the continued support and response I get to writing my story. It still takes a lot for me to share what is a very personal journey for me, but I appreciate everyones kind words. Thank you thank you thank you! A x

Well May hasn't started too badly but my goodness I am tired! Monday I went to see The Shires which meant a late night and 5.5 hours sleep which hasn't set me up very well for the busy week I am having. However, I won't let tiredness stop my productivity! I had a great day at work and smashed out a load of work which has put me in a pretty good mood. Off to London again tomorrow so that'll add to the tiredness some more but these things have got to be done. Today I ordered my Endo Co bracelet which is in the pic below. I'm super excited to get my hands on it so am hoping it arrives quicker than the 10-15 business day delivery it states!! You can find the bracelets for sale at the link below. 30% of the proceeds will be donated to the Endometriosis Coalition to help raise awareness and research.  https://www.motif.me/collections/trending-the-endo-co/products/the-endo-co-bracelet-10001497 A x

Its been a busy but positive few days. Friday was a productive and successful day, I managed to sort my mortgage and save myself some pennies. Plus I received a phone call which contained some feedback from work which was so positive and uplifting. I worry about my work sometimes and the impact this disease has on how I perform at my role, including the time I miss due to being unwell. So its a massive boost when I hear that people think I'm doing so well. Saturday I woke up nervous because it was my first Endometriosis UK Support Group. The idea of walking into a place where I don't know anyone is always daunting but I promised myself I would make the effort to attend. Well, I don't know what I was worried about! Everyone was really lovely and I'm looking forward to the next meeting already. The only problem was I had to leave halfway through because typically my little Pebbles got ill and needed to be taken straight to the vets! £95 and over an hour in the waiting...