'Its Not The Endo The World...'

I really wasn't looking forward to my hospital appointment on Thursday. I'm not sure why. Maybe it was because it wasn't that long ago that I was there. Or perhaps it was because I knew the scan was going to be uncomfortable and likely to cause me more pain. I don't know. But I knew I was dreading it. I felt nerves that I hadn't had since my operation but naturally I told myself everything was going to be fine... We got to the hospital early and sat outside in the sunshine for a few minutes before heading up to the ward where my scan was being done. It always feels a bit wrong as an outpatient going to the ward, its where women are at their most vulnerable. Whether they are recovering from surgery or have been admitted for other reasons, its not a nice place to be. I guess its because I can relate to being there and how I felt at the time. The three times I've been on that ward have certainly ingrained that feeling into my brain, and if I could never go back o...

On the 17 May, I had my long awaited follow up appointment with my consultant. This was the first time I had seen him since my surgery at the end of November last year. I wasn't entirely sure what to expect, but what I did know was that the operation hadn't given me the results I had hoped and my pain was still at an all time high. However, I wasn't expecting what he had to say... The words "you may never get any relief, nothing may help you" weren't something that had ever been said to me before. Sure, I know that Endometriosis is incurable, its a chronic disease you get for life after all. But what I hadn't ever considered was the pain would potentially only ever get worse and never ease up. We go through all these operations, procedures and trialling various drugs to get that relief. And to do that we need the hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel to get us through the side effects and the recovery after each operation. Now all of a sudden...