'Its Not The Endo The World...'

I've been struck down by the dreaded "common cold" since Friday evening. I have my Bestie to thank for bringing the germs in the house and turning me into a snotty grotty sneezing machine. Still, I don't let Endo beat me so I definitely won't let a silly cold. On the plus, my pain has been a bit more manageable. Had some bad moments today but on the whole it isn't as intense as the last couple of weeks. I would have been due my next Prostap injection today and I finished my HRT so it will be interesting to see how I feel over the next few weeks as the hormones start to rebalance. Got my scan date through for 15th March. Not too long to wait. Really want to know if they find more cysts. Kinda hoping they do as it would explain the increased pain. But lets see. March is almost upon us which means its the month to share the word about Endometriosis. What are you doing to get involved? A x

As a parent, one of your roles in life is to look after your children. You pick them up when they are down, nurse them back to health when they are ill and provide a shoulder for them to cry on. The problem is, being a parent of someone who suffers with endometriosis and adenomyosis, you can't nurse them back to health, all you can do is try to keep them positive and make them know you will always be there to support them.  If someone told me if I gave up my expensive car, my numerous holidays a year and the latest gadgets, my daughter would have a lot more pain free days, I would do it in a heartbeat. There is nothing more frustrating than seeing someone you love in so much pain, knowing that there is nothing you can do about it. That is not what is suppose to happen, I should be able to fix everything as a Dad, but I can't. If I could share some of the pain I would do it in the blink of an eye. It makes me very sad that this can never be the case.  So what can I do as a ...

This disease seems to make life go past in slow motion. You spend hours on the sofa in pain whilst everyone else is going on with their normal lives. You watch as people do the things you want to do, or go to the places you once said you would visit. You hear of people settling down, getting married and having children as you had once planned. You admire people from a distance who are getting promotions and moving up in their jobs, hitting the targets you had promised yourself you would reach. All the while, you are stuck in a bubble of pain, watching life pass you by. For you, a day with no pain is a rarity. You rely on the small things. You book plans in to have something to look forward to, whether that be a holiday or catching up with friends and family. You class being able to get out for an hour in the fresh air as a productive day. And you know that sometimes just laughing with your best friend is the highlight of your day. You no longer buy the latest fashion but buy clothes ...

I've completed my three days of work this week and now I have four days to relax. Bliss! Unfortunately, my pain has got a little worse since I got home but I'm in my comfy clothes on the sofa just trying to ignore it. I know that it will more than likely haunt me over the next four days too, but I won't let it control me, and it certainly won't beat me. I've just accepted it will always be there, and so I'm making room... A x

I was determined to get back to work today. I woke in pain at 5.20am, with crippling stomach cramps. My only thoughts were "Oh no Endo, you ain't gonna stop me, not today!". I've still felt pretty rough all day. Bad pain in my pelvic area and feeling particularly light headed. I tried to keep up with healthy snacks and plenty of water all day to try ease the fuzzy head. The 30 minute walk in the fresh air and sunshine at lunch really helped to blow the cobwebs away and I actually felt much better after. Isn't it amazing how a little sunshine can really lift your spirits. It makes me excited for the Spring. Today was a better day. And thank goodness it was. A x

When I woke up this morning at 5.30am and knew I was still in pain, I was heartbroken. I didn't want to waste another day feeling sorry for myself under a blanket in pain. When I went downstairs and my Bestie asked how I was feeling and I responded saying the same, her response was "you don't look unwell". She followed on by saying I was always smiling and its only since I started this blog that others really appreciated what this disease was putting me through. I've always been pretty discreet about it all. I've never wanted to be seen to complain and I've never been particularly forthcoming with the details on my illness unless someone asks. For most people, the mention of anything that involves "womens stuff" is enough to put them off asking any more questions. I am feeling a bit better today, I can see light at the end of the tunnel (or this flare up at least). I'm still poorly, but not like the last few days thankfully. I've got ...

Its pulling me apart from the inside out. The pain is so intense and its zapping me of any energy. The heavy weight, feeling like a tonne of bricks sitting in my womb. The ache in my back, making it impossible to get comfortable. The shooting pains from my hips down through my legs. The tension in my head, making it difficult to concentrate. And the nauseous feeling, sitting there as a constant warning. This week has been one of the hardest I have had since being diagnosed. The worry about whats happening inside. The concern about whether I need to go back to the hospital. Is this normal? Is this part of the parcel? I want to cry. Cry because it hurts. Cry because I am frustrated. Cry because I miss my simple normal life. What is happening to me? Why is my body struggling to fight so hard this week? A x