'Its Not The Endo The World...'

Its always hard for people to know how to deal with someone who has Endometriosis. What do you say? You can't say anything that will help the feelings of loss and sadness of dealing with a lifelong disease. What can you do? You can't take away the pain that they suffer with day in day out. How can you help? You can't do anything whilst they are curled up in pain high on meds. Its easy to think you can't help or say the right things. But remember, those of us who suffer do hear the nice things you say to us when we're feeling low. We do recognise that you would take the pain away if you could. And we do appreciate all the things you do to help make our lives easier. This post was a great read and gives some pointers if you're wondering how to help! Have a read here:  https://ribbonrx.com/2016/12/03/how-to-support-a-loved-one-who-has-endometriosis/ Thank you to all those that support me. A x

YES!!! I made it back! After 3 long frustrating weeks, I got my arse into gear and got back in the gym this morning. Its amazing how much of a boost it gives you when you finally get something done that has been annoying you SO much. On top of that I got to go for breakfast with my best friend and actually enjoy it without feeling sick or bloated after eating! Woohoo! I've got a busy few days off ahead. Tomorrow food shop and popping into town, Saturday I have the first North Essex Endometriosis support group set up by Endometriosis UK. Sunday I'm off to the Grand Designs Show at the Excel in London and Monday is finished off with a meal and seeing The Shires at the Ipswich Regent. I'm excited for the next few days. Its a good feeling after feeling low and groggy for the last couple of weeks. Fingers crossed the positiveness continues... A x

This morning I read an interesting article that Endometriosis Australia posted on Facebook. As a sufferer of Bowel Endometriosis and someone who is waiting for the excision operation mentioned, I found it really useful. Have a read here:  https://www.endometriosisaustralia.org/single-post/2016/10/07/Endometriosis-and-the-Bowel A x

Day 4 of migraine and day 10 of having a headache. The left hand side of my head has taken quite a battering over the last 4 days. And I'm still struggling. I must rattle with the amount of pills I've taken to try and ease this migraine. I've lived in my glasses that  I usually only wear at work when I'm working at the computer screen. What a nightmare its been! Its not just the feeling unwell thats annoying. On Friday I was due to have my next set of braces from the Orthodontist but with the migraine they didn't want to do the prep work that was required. Now I'm already 4 weeks behind schedule for my teeth which is frustrating. It also means another weekend out of the gym, which makes it 3 weeks out of doing something I enjoy. Not helping my mood! And to top it off today I was due to be at the London Marathon with my family and bestie. Instead I'm home watching it on the TV whilst on the sofa and my family are there enjoying themselves. I've sp...

Well it turns out my positive pants didn't do the trick this time. Yesterday I wrote about a bad headache that wasn't shifting. So you can only imagine my disappointment when I woke with it again this morning. But this time it was even worse! I got up ready for work but quickly realised it wasn't going to happen today. Sitting in front of a computer screen all day with what now felt like a migraine wasn't going to work. I admitted defeat and texted my manager (hello if you're reading!). It's been a day of popping various pills to see what helps. Firstly migraine tablets, then codeine. I hate taking codeine so I only give in to it when I absolutely have to. It makes me feel all kinds of funny! But needs must. Now as I'm writing this my headache is still pounding and the stabbing pain has begun in my pelvic area so perhaps it's not just a migraine and actually a flare up that I'm suffering with. It comes back to the usual situation of never knowi...

Why oh why won't this headache go away! Its been a week of headaches and its been steadily getting worse. Today I gave in to migraine tablets washed down with some vanilla coke but still no let up. Whats a girl to do! Work is busy but good. Hoping that my body starts to be kind as I've got a few days in London coming up. I am also dying to get back in the gym. Please please please body, is it really too much to ask?! In other news its 3 weeks today until my birthday. I'm hoping 27 brings better news than 26, and that it'll give me some relief from pain at some point. Gotta keep my positive pants on nevertheless. After all, it can always be worse... A x

I'm sitting here in my gym wear writing this post. I should be at the gym, I want to be at the gym and yet my body has other ideas. I've cried through frustration this morning. And as I was told to "pull your shit together" the tears flowed more and anger set in. It hit a nerve and so now I'm a "crazy bitch" too. I know it wasn't meant to be nasty. I know it was just trying to get me motivated to get to the gym and to stop feeling so frustrated that my body hasn't let up on pain for the last 3 days. Every day I've wanted to get to the gym and every day I've had to give in and watch others do what I want to be doing. I've learnt more than ever that I have to listen to my body and not push myself too hard. But do you know how frustrating that is?! To watch everyone around you do what you want? To watch people never be able to understand the feelings you have because you have this rotten disease that is eating you from the inside? It...

I've been researching and also speaking to some of you about what you do to ease some of the symptoms that Adeno and Endo present. One in particular is nausea. For a while now I've described it as having morning sickness. Bit of a bad joke considering thats what you get when you're pregnant!! But for a while now I've woken up feeling sick and by lunchtime its usually worn off. Some days it can last all day but it seems to be a common morning thing. Upon speaking to fellow sufferers and through my own research ginger is of course known to help with nausea. I've tried ginger tea before but it can be time consuming to make in the morning before work. However, ginger shots were recommended as something else to try.  I've looked into recipes for the famous ginger shot but whilst I was in Waitress this morning, my bestie noticed they did them there. So for £1.50 a shot, I thought I'd give them a go. They taste great! I've got together a couple of reci...

Waiting for a hospital appointment is like waiting for rain in a drought. I had my last Consultant appointment on 6th December 2016. It was decided then that I would be put in for the Endometriosis excision surgery. Since then, I've been taken in as Emergency Gynaecology and had a scan which shows an extended bowel. Still I have no dates in the diary for surgery. So when I spoke to a nurse about my scan results last week I asked for some idea of times. "Well if you want an appointment with your Consultant, its looking like after August. For your surgery, it will be October, November or December". I got my Consultant appointment through.... 8th September. Nothing for the surgery. Its looking like it'll be a year since being put forward for the surgery before I get it! How ridiculous!! I think there are multiple things that make having this disease hard. The pain, of course. The mental impact of dealing with a chronic illness. And the frustration. The frustration that y...

Its amazing what a few days off, with great company and lovely weather does for the soul. My 4 days off have been fab. Its been productive but spent making precious happy memories too. Today I am grateful. Grateful for the people I have in my life. Grateful for the home that I live in with my beautiful fur babies. Grateful that I am so fortunate to be where I am. Some days Endo can really bring me down. But thats not today. And it won't take away the happiness that I've got from the past few days. I am ending the weekend a happy girlie. A x

Its been an odd week. I've felt pretty up and down, although with the news from the hospital its been a bit more down than usual. But I've taken their advice and already started to make changes to my diet. I've swapped my Ben & Jerrys for dairy free Perfect World ice cream. And I've swapped my normal semi skimmed milk for lactose free semi skimmed milk. Its a start at least. On top of making changes, I've got a few days off, today being the first of four days. And its been a good day. I got up and went to the gym, did a food shop, dismantled my old bed and got a lovely new king size bed, put that together, hoovered the house, and cooked dinner. I've laughed a lot and feel like I've achieved something with my day. Shout out to the Bestie for laughing with me today... and for helping me with my new bed. You're a gem! I like days like today.... A x

Been having a bit of a low day today. I contacted the hospital as I hadn't heard anything about my scan results. The good thing is there were no more cysts. The bad thing is my bowel was extended and they don't know why. If you remember I said they couldn't find my left ovary. Well it turns out thats because my bowel was enlarged and in the way. When I spoke to the nurse today she said it must have been really enlarged for it to be blocking my ovary. Now the question is, why is it so big?! 70% of endometriosis sufferers are also diagnosed with IBS. Many women also find they have intolerances to gluten and lactose. For those who struggle with Endo on the bowel, it is advised they keep a food diary to see what causes discomfort and flare ups, with the view to removing those items from their diet full time. My mindset today says isn't it enough that you have taken my chances of having children naturally away from me? Now you want to take chocolate and Ben & Jerry...

A year ago today I sat and wrote a Facebook post about my situation. I sat pondering on whether to post it for ages. On one side, my mind was telling me that it was positive. That people needed to know to help them understand. It felt like it would take a weight off my shoulders. On the other side, my mind was telling me that people would judge me. That it would make me appear weak or that I was trying to use the illness as an excuse. The first thoughts won. I hit post and quickly shut down Facebook. But the intrigued side of me kept me checking my phone. Every time a new notification popped up on Facebook I felt nervous but excited to see what it was! Luckily for me, the response was nothing but supportive. I got messages from people I least expected to read my posts, let alone take the time to like or comment on it. From that day on, I have been more vocal about my condition. Not to get sympathy but to help raise awareness of the disease that so many women suffer with around the ...

So March was Endometriosis Awareness month and April is Adenomyosis Awareness month. I'm SO lucky to have both so this month I get to write about my second disease, lucky me! So here are some facts about Ade, and what it means for me in particular.. What is Adenomyosis? It is a chronic disease where the lining of the uterus grows in the muscle layer of the uterus. It shares similarities to that of its evil twin Endometriosis causing pelvic pain, fatigue, bloating, nausea and bowel/bladder function issues. It has a large impact on womens mental health also. Over time the Ade can cause the womb to grow and enlarge in size, causing women to sometimes appear like they are pregnant. It is much less common than Endometriosis with 1 in 100 women suffering rather than the 1 in 10 of Endo. It can be diagnosed via laparoscopy and MRI. For me it has made my womb soft and sponge like rather than tough as a muscle should be. When I had my first laporoscopy back in 2014 the muscle was so...